week four ... done

i truly can't believe it.  i have finished accomplished four weeks of body by jake!!  to say i'm amazed is an understatement ... but more importantly i feel damn proud!  looking back ... i can barely recall the exercises i've done.  they say when traumatic events happen in your life, you tuck them away deep into your subconscious.  i believe that's what has happened to me.  the challenges i do remember are as follows:  kettlebells ... lots and lots of kettlebells; throwing of medicine balls ... of all fun weights and sizes; waaaay too many squats to count; followed by their sister ... pain-in-the-butt lunges; and lots and lots of exhaustion and glares.  jake is immune to them now.  jake also thinks it's funny for me to do balance exercises.  i think it's payback for all the names i call him.  but all of this has paid off in dividends.  my clothes are a lot looser and tighter clothes are looking better ... i feel good inside and out ... and i'm doing something for me.  i'm enjoying the compliments i receive and look forward to strutting my stuff.  i still have a long way to go ... but i just remind myself "one day at a time" and soon the end will be here before you know it.  i mean ... four weeks has already passed!  i'm afraid to think about where i'd be now if i hadn't started body by jake ... i'd have lots of pizza boxes in my kitchen that's for sure!

speaking of food ... i don't even mind my new eating habits.  lots of fruit, eggs, salad, rice, tuna-fish sandwiches.  i still get the occasional craving for pizza ... and when it hits it hits hard.  but my current favorite and super easy thing to make is scrambled eggs (which takes two minutes ... who knew?!), place the eggs on a toasted english muffin, then top off both pieces with a slice of tomato!  easy peasy.  or i'll throw in some green peppers and roll the eggs up in a whole-grain tortilla and top it off with salsa.  and you all know how i cook ... i don't.  so this is very doable for me!  i still have a free day on saturdays and i try to keep it somewhat in check.  but a few saturdays ago i went for my usual chick-fil-a breakfast and could only eat half of it.  i was totally confused ... since when could i not finish my favorite breakfast in the whole wide world?  so i just saved the rest and ate it a few hours later.  i'm starting to not recognize myself ...

in closing ... i was talking to a friend at work the other day (kizzle that's you) and she wanted to work out with jake to see if she could do it.  i told her she could ... and that she's a lot stronger than she gives herself credit for.  then i paused and realized ... IIIII am A LOT stronger than i give myself credit for ... physically, emotionally, mentally.  when you're pushed to your breaking point ... you realize so much about yourself.  and you know how else i know i'm succeeding?  cuz my grandparents are proud of me!

i've become one of them ...

i'm a huge fan of the biggest loser.  i've been watching it for years ... usually while eating taco bell and dairy queen.  it's actually a pretty fun way to watch tv.  anywhoo ... and usually in the first few weeks the contestants break down and have a real good cry.  now i'm always up for a good cry ... it's how i release anger, sadness, happiness, laughter, etc.  but i've never fully understood crying while working out.  that is until tonight ...


i have always equated push-ups with strength.  and more than muscle strength ... one who can conquer anything.  it's a sign of physical/mental/emotional accomplishment.  heroes can do push-ups.  so jake has been working my arms and having me do standing push-ups ... and i feel great afterwards.  i'm on my way!  but today ... and it's no special day ... he wants me to assume the push-up position and jump my legs so it's ankles in and ankles out.  i can barely hold the position and now he wants me to do what?  and so my mental block begins.  i'm mortified.  i'm mortified of failing.  i'm mortified of collapsing.  i'm just mortified.  and i just can't do it.  and as i struggle with tears and trying to push through this mental block, jake was awesome.  he let me struggle on my own (cuz i needed to) and patiently waited for me.  now i didn't want jake to see me cry ... and i didn't want to cry.  who cries during a work-out?  but alas ... after about ten minutes and hundreds of different hand placements, i managed to push through and move my body in a way i never dreamed possible.  i did it!  and i didn't fail.  let me repeat ... i didn't fail.  now it wasn't pretty ... and i could only jump my legs two times before falling.  but i kept doing it until they all accumulated to 15 seconds.  and then i pushed forward and completed the rest of my work-out.  and that included another round of those awful things.


so i have officially become a work-out cryer.  biggest loser would be proud.  but i know that this is happening for a reason ... i'm working out and releasing everything i have held on to for years ... all the pain, disappointment, frustration, obesity ... it's a lot to let surface.  but i truly feel this is helping more than therapy did ... and who knew?!  although therapy is a lot cheaper ... ha!  wow ... it has definitely been an emotional evening and i'm sure there will be more.  but for now ... i'll take it bcz i conquered tonight.


and on a happy note ... this morning i pulled out a pair of jeans straight from the dryer.  i put them on.  and they definitely went on a little more easy and you could see some sag in the thigh area.  straight from the dryer!!  maybe in a few weeks i'll be able to have a jeans burning party ... cuz i'll be down a size!  woot!

he hates me ...

week one of "body by jake" is over.  and yes ... i'm still crying.

my first session with jake was on tuesday.  i entered the room smiling and scared out of my mind.  i had started dieting that day, which included getting off the juice (diet coke).  so it was a pretty big day and i was getting ready to jump right in.  and then i immediately knew i was screwed ... here's why.

it's not a good sign when you start your warm-up with squats.  what the what?!  and what's that ladder thingy doing on the floor?  you want me to jump in and out of each block of the ladder?  and what are those sliding discs?  oh ... you want me to use them to lunge up and down the room?  and now stairs?  really?!  and that was tuesday ...

thursday was a repeat of tuesday ... but we focused more on arms and abs.  and i sweated ... a lot.

and then friday (today) i completed a Biggest Loser cardio workout and finished it!!  i was so excited and proud!  i was completely drenched in sweat and breathing like a man ... but i finished that bad boy.

tomorrow is my free day so no workout.  and i'm allowed to splurge a little on saturdays ... so i might dig in to some mexican food for lunch.  oh that sounds so good right now!  and i will keep seeing jake ... i'm scheduled for tuesday and thursday again.  so you'll hear from me again soon!!